Movie: The Business of Being Born & My Kids Births

I watched this movie the last night Joe was gone on his annual guys ski trip. Ricki Lake produced it with her friend Abby Epstein and Abby's boyfriend, who are filmmakers and happened to be expecting their first baby during the process. The general theme of the movie was the dramatic shift that maternity care has taken in this country compared to other developed countries and just over the last century. They are supporting the idea of home birth with midwives, where possible, as opposed to hospital birth and planned delivery (induction, non-essential c-section, etc). This documentary was really interesting and there are 2 major statistics that stick in my mind:

1. Midwives attend around 80% of births in European nations whereas they attend less than 1% of births in the US.
2. At the current time, 1 in 4 births is a c-section in the US.

I should note for the record that both of my kids births occured from induction and resulted in vaginal births. And both were done out of convenience to me. My doctor didn't talk me into it and I felt like I had the control to make the decision myself; but it was given to me as a viable, non-harmful option. It's a little embarrassing saying it out loud actually; but, as with other things in my life, I like having a plan and being in control. At the time, I felt a little guilty about not going into labor naturally with Shelagh. I think it was just the excitement of having our first baby and wanting her to just arrive already that made my decision. If I had to do it again, I would have let her come naturally. There was no physical reason not to and it didn't really add any convenience in for us where we had no other kids to worry about. When Rory came along, the doctor offered it again and it just seemed the easiest option where Shelagh was concerned - she was only 19 months old at the time and we didn't really have a good "what if this happens in the middle of the night" option for her. She was not great with transitions then and she was my primary concern.

With Shelagh, it turned out that I was already in labor and didn't realize it before they gave me the Pitocin. The contractions were about 6 minutes apart, she was very low, and I was dilating. They gave me the Pitocin, I labored for several hours, my water broke on it's own and I then got the epidural at around 6-7 cm after first trying a lighter pain med. I always had planned to ask for an epidural - I have a VERY LOW pain threshold and just assumed it was the best course of action for me. I was really proud of myself for making it as long as I did without the drugs though. I don't know why I didn't think I could handle it, but I didn't and I suppose it was mostly fear. I labored a total of 15 hours with Shelagh and pushed for about 1.5 hours of that. That part was the really painful part b/c, ironically, after wanting the epidural and getting it as planned, it ended up wearing off before the important part anyway. When I hit 10 cm they told me they had to turn off the epidural so that I could feel enough to push. They did and then they didn't come back in for awhile. By the time I was pushing, I could feel it all and going from no pain to crazy pain without any transition SUCKED! Obviously, I eventually did it, but it was shocking to go from 0 to 60 and took A LOT of encouragement from the awesome nurse I had (who stayed after her shift to see my birth through) and Joe to get her out. Shelagh was purple and triangular when she came out from all the half-assed initial pushes I could muster. By the next day, her round head came back and she was strong and beautiful and perfect AND a red head (which we secretly were hoping for)!

The induction wasn't as cut and dry with Rory. I was induced first thing in the morning a few days before my due date and by late morning I knew it wasn't going to be successful. The contractions never advanced and I just knew he wasn't coming. We were sent home late afternoon. A week later, at my next appointment, my doctor offered to try again since I was more physically ready and we did induce the next day. After only 7 hours of labor, Rory arrived! This time I wouldn't let them turn off the epidural and we were actually talking and joking while I pushed him out. It was a breeze and I didn't feel a thing. We didn't know the sex of baby #2 like we did with Shelagh, but everyone thought I was carrying a boy (I don't think 1 person thought it was a girl) and I guess I wasn't that surprised when a boy came out even though I didn't have a feeling about the gender one way or the other (it's always weird to me when women say they just "know" and then it comes out the other sex and they are in no way prepared that that possibility might occur). He was also just perfect and adorable with white blonde hair. Within a couple of months he was a red head too and has been a sweet and mellow baby the whole time. I think the situation with Rory and the inductions, while the delivery was less dramatic and easier on me physically, gave me enough pause that I regret having done it with him the 1st and 2nd times and I know I wouldn't do it again if we were to have subsequent children.

With all that said, I still don't know if I could do a full natural birth and I know I wouldn't want a home birth. I do think that if we were blessed to have another baby, I would

1. Definitely let the labor come on its own
2. Have the strength to labor at home for awhile before I felt the need to go in to the hospital
3. Try to go as long as I could to the epidural deadline before deciding if I really need it or not. If I do, then I do. If I don't, then maybe I'd go for it.
4. Look to see if there was a birthing center option other than the hospital where I delivered my first 2 so that there is more focus on the laboring mom and more options for how to labor during that time. I don't know if I'd do it elsewhere, but I would at least research it further.

The main reason I wouldn't do the home birth option would be that I think it's really important to have those 1st few days focused completely on the new baby. To not have that isolated time (ie to be at home with my other kids simultaneously) would be against what I have treasured with my first 2 and the time I need to myself to process the change from being pregnant to breastfeeding and caring for that tiny new baby and for general physical recovery. I think it would be neat to have a midwife, but I'm not sure how and if that fits in with a hospital birth and I don't really like all that touchy-feely crap that sometimes come with the more "natural" approach. I don't need the full cheerleading squad, but some encouragement from someone with a breadth of experience in childbirth, who is also a woman and understands what I'd be going through, and who would have alternatives to dealing with the pain of laboring would be pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm so glad I watched the film. Even though I don't necessarily subscribe to everything they were focused on, it made me feel like I could more brave than I have been.