"Having Kids is Like Slowly Getting Pecked to Death by Chickens"

How funny is that? Friend at work shared that frig magnet phrase with me at lunch today. Hilarious. I will now list the things my kids do that annoy me the most:

1. Everything is a negotiation ("Shelagh, please feed the cats", followed by "Mommy, how about I read to my brother and you feed the cats? Does that sound good?")
2. I am a broken record ("Finish your breakfast. Finish your breakfast, please. PLEASE, finish your breakfast. If you don't finish your breakfast, you will lose your privilages today. EAT YOUR BREAKFAST. I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR STORIES.")
3. Food likes and dislikes depend on the alignment of the planets ("But you love chicken, Rory", followed by "I not like Chicken. I like Nuggets", followed by "But nuggets are chicken, buddy", followed by "They NOT".
4. Default volume setting = 20 and screaming is fun
5. My daughter refuses to get dressed upstairs in the morning when everyone else does. Her new thing is eating breakfast in her jammies. By the time breakfast is done (see #2 above), we are late, I am tense, and she still has to get dressed and get her hair done. It's petty, it shouldn't bother me so much, BUT IT DOES!
6. Food disguise does not seem to work with Rory. He can identify a pea buried in pasta immediately. Drives me crazy.

I really do love my kids. Just venting... :)